Monday 28 November 2022

Little bestfriend

 Having said that I may lost some of my best buddy while growing up and growing old, who knew that Allah replace it with one tiny little girl.


My little bestfriend.


Little? Because she is my daughter. I have an insecurity and fear of having one ( a daughter ) because I have a very bad stigma on daughter especially me, myself and I. I never really thought I could love one. And yet, Allah prove me wrong. My little pumpkin is Hana Mishka and she is my everything. Will forever be my everything. 




I have a twin son and yes they were my everything as well but having said that daughter mother relationship is somewhat unique. Or maybe my trauma kills that. 


This little girl of mine, she really is cute and cheeky. So active and boils my blood ( haha ). She is mischievous as well and always tesde her brother. While I am writing this, she still at the age of 15 month. Not even two years old but Allah knows how mind boggle I am.




This lady sleeps early and wake up earliest. Early bird catch the most worms they said. 


And yes her abi is her first boyfriend like every daughter. Ever since Hana was born, its always her before me to my husband. Hmmmmmmmm. And Hana is a jealousy little girl she doesn't like it when my husband and I were sitting next to each other. How cute (....not )...oh well still cute. 

To my daughter Hana Mishka.
Please grow up wonderfully, beautifully and be the bright and clever girl. A muslimah who is obedient to Allah. A good muslimah who knows how to take care of her modesty and herself. 

I may not be able to protect you entire time but I leave it to Allah.

I love you....forever. Here and after. Saranghae baby girl. 






Monday 22 March 2021

Phase of life

 As I crawl my body to get myself out of the bed, my twinnies start to whine and cry. They didn't want to let me go. Nope they did not! I was trying my best to get off the bed because I need to pee and pray and take a bath before going to work. These two little angel are not really gave their cooperation to me. Almost every morning, the drama continues...


I was one verge of screaming because if there's more delay, I will get to work late. And I couldn't buy breakfast. Haih~ 


Istighfar.... Astaghfirullahalazim.




Our life really change from one phase to another. More and more challenging  day ahead. All we have to do ( as simple as it seems.. ) is to live a life to the fullest. Everyday is a new day. Just move on. Appreciate the present, let go the past and embrace the future.


There is no life without an obstacle. 

There is no hardship without purpose.

There is no trial without pahala from Allah.


Be the best version of yourself.

Thursday 9 April 2020

Corona Virus blessing in disguise?

Often we complaining on not having enough rest and such. Whenever our kids crying for attention, the word 'I'm busy with work' always slipped careslessly from our mouth and who knows those word are sword stabbing every inner child feelings.

They're longing for their parent. They want to hug their mommy daddy. They just the presence of their parent. But we, always mislook those 'needs'.

However, nowadays since corona virus attacking the whole world, collapsing us in every other way, we felt like we're losing everything. Stop! Take a closer look on your surrounding. Your kids have you and you have your time. Rest is all you need? Rest!. Time is all you need? You got it.

Go hug your children. Play with them. Listen to them. Spend time with them and at least, sit beside them so they can feel your presence. Your presence is much more valuable than any other expensive toys.

They need you.
The children need you.
Your body need you.
The world need to rest too.

So please make these covid19 lockdown as blessing in disguise. See it that way and you'll be thankful.

I'd say....alhamdulillah.

You say?




Sunday 29 March 2020

A letter to dear self : Thank you for keep holding on

When I was a child....I used to have this thinking that when I grow up, I want to become an astraunut.

Yeah...thanks to tons of space-type movie such as 'spaxe above and beyond, X-Files, startrek, starwars and much more that sometimes I even dreamed of it.

As the time pass by, I grow up and my ambition has ton down a bit. No more astraunut, just a pilot.

And I worked hard for it. Eventhough I still not becoming one, but I already make progress. Work hard matters and result will follows.

Now, I am quite old already. Surpassing 30++ is an old number for me but my ambition still there. I still want to become a pilot. I know, it may be too late but it is possible. Allah knows and Allah can make it happens.

Did I spend my time regretting over this? Nope.
Should I just go for other ambition? Nope.

I still love my dream to become a pilot and a writer. Just that.

If Allah wills, Allah will show me the way.

Thank you dear self, for keep holding on.



Monday 2 December 2019

Korea....again?

Assalamualaikum.

Korea again? Yerpp.  As the title said above. It's Korea again... How can I stop myself from going there. Its my joyful place, my love.

I don't really think of other place instead of Korea but I do however,still in my deepest hehart, wanted to go to Japan, Germany, Norway etc someday. InsyaAllah.

But for now, Korea is the most affordable ( still expensive lah in the name of travel but way cheaper than europe and its neighbour country )... But someday insyaAllah when I able to earn money, I will go.


Travel and witness the beauty of Allah creation,what's wrong that.





Monday 7 October 2019

[ MOVIE ] The Odd Family : Zombie On Sale

Hello people.

Previously the most popular zombie when it comes to the land of kimchi/kpop will always be Train To Busan. Who doesn't love that Gong Yoo movie. Epic one!

And yes it still Train To Busan until now iny opinion.... Eventhough they tried to make another zombie movie but using joseon era by title Rampant ( handsome Janghyuk as hero....come on!) , nothing can still beat Train To Busan.

However.... Today me and my husband are sitting down after dinner, watching TVN movies title The Odd Family : Zombie on sale.  Or in korean language 기묘한 가족 ( gimyohan kajuk )



At first the title itself didnt attract me but while I was nursing my little twins, I could hear my husband kept on laughing. He claimed the scene are too funny. Its a movie about a family, an odd one of course. They accidentally met one zombie and to make long story short, their father got bitten by it. Terrified on how it will make their father become a zombie too, somehow it didn't. In fact, their father become younger, youthful vibe and strongly active.



This bizarre condition lead them to make profit from it as the village people also wanted to look young etc. They named the zombie Park Jjongbi. In order to look young and radiant, the village people need to let Jjongbi bite them. And when they thought everything is going with the flow, the village people somehow turning into zombie itself and chaos happpened.



Trailer.


The movie kinda remind me of Warm Bodies if you have watch it you might agree with me. But its fine with me because warm bodies also my jam and favorite. Probably because of the soft hearted jjongbi and not forget to mention he is good looking. Plus, the theme is family and sibling bonding when you find different characteristic in everyone starting from oldest brother and his wife, second brother and youngest sister. Its Its hilarious yet so comedic .

If you are looking for simple funny and entertaining movie, I suggest you guys to watch this. Its hella funny I was laughing so much.



Thursday 12 September 2019

[ MOVIE ] The Secret Scripture

Bawling my eyes out. Period.

Have you watch a movie which make you feel sad like seriously sad that you absentmindedly starting to bawling , sobbing and cry. Yes tears rolled down nonstop and I was even sobbing loudly.



THE SECRET SCRIPTURE.




Watch the trailef yourself...if you are in the aame boat me you'll definitely like it. If this is not the genre cup of your tea then you might not liking it.


The synopsis for this movie ;

Residing in a psychiatric hospital, a woman receives visits from a young psychologist whose interest in her diary triggers flashbacks of her youth, which was filled with romance, obsession and turmoil.



I am accidentally watch it while nursing my twins and somehow my eyes glued to the tv and as the movie went deeper, I didn't move an inch...

The storyline is sooooooooo sad. Perhaps I am enjoying the lovey dovey feels from Rose and Micheal. From the start til married til separated. I found my heart attched to the feels they portray.

Micheal and Rose love each other so muh but destiny separate them. Thank god they manage to get married but the happiness episode stop there when Micheal and Rose are separated. And later, Rose was taken to psychiatry hospital for treatment as they claim she was crazy and never get marry to anyone.

She already pregnant so it was impossible but there is one bad charactor ''pastor Gaunt' he kinda make people think it was his baby. Damn you.

And Rose managed to escape just before deliver but she somehow gave birth at sea shore... She took a stone and from people eyes far from her,it seems like she killed her baby boy but its not. She actually cut the umbilical cord on her own. :( The baby stop crying.

She passed out and when she woke up, again, return to the mental hospital, they said her baby was dead . They lied.

She was then isolated and began to write inside a book the story of her own....and that was what brings the young psyhiatrist 40years later to develop interest in her past.

To much plot twist ..that doctor was her baby and it was then revealed Micheal was killed when he seek for her and his last word was to tell Rose on how he often think of her which of course, no one told her.


Sad.

She was waiting for a husband that is no longer alive. :(


I bawled and hug my husband...my gosh. Even til now I feel sad. Maybe it was me...just me.


😭😭😭😭😭



Tuesday 21 May 2019

Perfect mom? Nope

Smell of milk
Smell of pee
Smell of poop

So if all those smell take turns on you, how would nice flowery scented perfume will have a chance to shine? You can spray and wait 30 minute before the babies start their show....and their smell takes control.

However, I love baby smell....the masham masham smell always the best and I know it wont lasts long. Someday when they grow up, it'll disappear.




Ever since become a mom...especially a mom of two ( for my melons twinny ), I often follow page of twincies mommy, triplet , quad and even a singleton baby mother. I also keen to follow pages that teach about sleeping baby, nutrition and such. Wow so much of being a mother huh. Back then I am more toward Kpop website. No more No more.

Yeppp still Kpopers inside me exist its just I had to switch the priority. My twins is my everything nowadays. huhuhu.

Being a mom....of course we want all the best thing in the world for our kids but being in a society that full of judgement, it might be challenging.

~~ "Hey you so poor can't you find job and feed your kid more...aren't you feel sympathy for them?'

~~ " My gosh is your milk enough. Go feed formulas for god sake. The baby starving".

~~ "You shouldn't do this that, you must do this that blablabla".

~~ "During my time, I did the best and my baby behave so well."

~~ "Why your baby so ugly. Why your baby so bad." (For god sake baby is a baby how can you define baby as 'bad'? )

~~ And the list goes on!!!!


People !!!!

You are killing the mommy. Not everyone can digest your remark that sometimes sound super harsh. Nope. Speaking of giving advise, do it will full manner. Not in comparison language. Just don't.

Especially toward the new mommy which of course have zero knowledge...they need your experience to be share just as reference not necessary mandatory to follow if not 'Bad mommy' sticker place all over the forehead.

Come on. Stop judging.

lemme judge you back.


Sometimes social media plays a huge part in giving extra knowlege but they also can kill the mommy slef esteem. Especially when they saw many other mom who look so fine so pretty so gorgeous sexy curvy with perfect baby and kids around, with huge and comfy house and awesome people around them....and here I am sitting all alone feel like potato 😂

I bet every woman want the best for their love ones especially a mother feelig toward the babies. Who can deny mothers love. Its the greatest of all after God's love.


To all mommy out there. Keep your chin up.
You don't have to be perfect. To your kids eye, you are already perfect enough. Unbeatable, superior, superwoman, heroes!!. So don't feel too bad if you can't achieve what other mommy can. Don't smash your head when you can't provide like what other mommy provide.

Just provide loves. Thats all what the babies need.

Perfect mom didn't exist but irreplaceable mom do exist in every family. No one can replace you because you are womderful woman and mommy.

Sunday 21 April 2019

Goshop on Sunday nite

Heyyaaa...

Its a sunday night when I wrote this so happy sunday everyone. I was watching Go shop at TV with Fahrin as co-host special. How cute.


I don't know about you guys but I love watcjing Goshop and its making me wanting to buy every single thing they promoted. Salute to host especially Syakirin Husnal. I love her.

If I have huge amount of money I so want to buy lots and lots of Goshop item especially Kissen blender,  Shogun granite pan, Mind fan, this intex mattress, multicooker and so much more. Seeee how 'good' they influence me.

Did you guys love to watch goshop too???

Sunday 31 March 2019

Monday

Hello

Happy monday to everyone. Those who 'suffer' monday Blues , good luck facing it 😂. Those who enjoy monday, have fun.

I remember when I was in school. Knowing that tomorrow is Monday on that Sundag evening, my heart went shatter. Dramatic yeahh. But thats how I describe my monday.

Thinking that there will be school assembly (long one I guarantee ) my mind suffocating. Ok come on, is there actually anyone loves morning monday assembly?Dont lie to me. 😑

And during my era of working ( lol era ), I also dislikes monday thinking that to reach friday still a long way to go. And then on Sunday to Monday is so close to evem think of. I stress over unnecessary stuff, yeppp thats me.

Until the time I get to work in shift time. Thats when I dont remembers day and not scared over monday anymore 😂😂😂

Dramatic and me are unseparable.