Thursday, 12 September 2019

[ MOVIE ] The Secret Scripture

Bawling my eyes out. Period.

Have you watch a movie which make you feel sad like seriously sad that you absentmindedly starting to bawling , sobbing and cry. Yes tears rolled down nonstop and I was even sobbing loudly.


Watch the trailef yourself...if you are in the aame boat me you'll definitely like it. If this is not the genre cup of your tea then you might not liking it.

The synopsis for this movie ;

Residing in a psychiatric hospital, a woman receives visits from a young psychologist whose interest in her diary triggers flashbacks of her youth, which was filled with romance, obsession and turmoil.

I am accidentally watch it while nursing my twins and somehow my eyes glued to the tv and as the movie went deeper, I didn't move an inch...

The storyline is sooooooooo sad. Perhaps I am enjoying the lovey dovey feels from Rose and Micheal. From the start til married til separated. I found my heart attched to the feels they portray.

Micheal and Rose love each other so muh but destiny separate them. Thank god they manage to get married but the happiness episode stop there when Micheal and Rose are separated. And later, Rose was taken to psychiatry hospital for treatment as they claim she was crazy and never get marry to anyone.

She already pregnant so it was impossible but there is one bad charactor ''pastor Gaunt' he kinda make people think it was his baby. Damn you.

And Rose managed to escape just before deliver but she somehow gave birth at sea shore... She took a stone and from people eyes far from her,it seems like she killed her baby boy but its not. She actually cut the umbilical cord on her own. :( The baby stop crying.

She passed out and when she woke up, again, return to the mental hospital, they said her baby was dead . They lied.

She was then isolated and began to write inside a book the story of her own....and that was what brings the young psyhiatrist 40years later to develop interest in her past.

To much plot twist ..that doctor was her baby and it was then revealed Micheal was killed when he seek for her and his last word was to tell Rose on how he often think of her which of course, no one told her.


She was waiting for a husband that is no longer alive. :(

I bawled and hug my gosh. Even til now I feel sad. Maybe it was me...just me.


Tuesday, 21 May 2019

Perfect mom? Nope

Smell of milk
Smell of pee
Smell of poop

So if all those smell take turns on you, how would nice flowery scented perfume will have a chance to shine? You can spray and wait 30 minute before the babies start their show....and their smell takes control.

However, I love baby smell....the masham masham smell always the best and I know it wont lasts long. Someday when they grow up, it'll disappear.

Ever since become a mom...especially a mom of two ( for my melons twinny ), I often follow page of twincies mommy, triplet , quad and even a singleton baby mother. I also keen to follow pages that teach about sleeping baby, nutrition and such. Wow so much of being a mother huh. Back then I am more toward Kpop website. No more No more.

Yeppp still Kpopers inside me exist its just I had to switch the priority. My twins is my everything nowadays. huhuhu.

Being a mom....of course we want all the best thing in the world for our kids but being in a society that full of judgement, it might be challenging.

~~ "Hey you so poor can't you find job and feed your kid more...aren't you feel sympathy for them?'

~~ " My gosh is your milk enough. Go feed formulas for god sake. The baby starving".

~~ "You shouldn't do this that, you must do this that blablabla".

~~ "During my time, I did the best and my baby behave so well."

~~ "Why your baby so ugly. Why your baby so bad." (For god sake baby is a baby how can you define baby as 'bad'? )

~~ And the list goes on!!!!

People !!!!

You are killing the mommy. Not everyone can digest your remark that sometimes sound super harsh. Nope. Speaking of giving advise, do it will full manner. Not in comparison language. Just don't.

Especially toward the new mommy which of course have zero knowledge...they need your experience to be share just as reference not necessary mandatory to follow if not 'Bad mommy' sticker place all over the forehead.

Come on. Stop judging.

lemme judge you back.

Sometimes social media plays a huge part in giving extra knowlege but they also can kill the mommy slef esteem. Especially when they saw many other mom who look so fine so pretty so gorgeous sexy curvy with perfect baby and kids around, with huge and comfy house and awesome people around them....and here I am sitting all alone feel like potato 😂

I bet every woman want the best for their love ones especially a mother feelig toward the babies. Who can deny mothers love. Its the greatest of all after God's love.

To all mommy out there. Keep your chin up.
You don't have to be perfect. To your kids eye, you are already perfect enough. Unbeatable, superior, superwoman, heroes!!. So don't feel too bad if you can't achieve what other mommy can. Don't smash your head when you can't provide like what other mommy provide.

Just provide loves. Thats all what the babies need.

Perfect mom didn't exist but irreplaceable mom do exist in every family. No one can replace you because you are womderful woman and mommy.

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Goshop on Sunday nite


Its a sunday night when I wrote this so happy sunday everyone. I was watching Go shop at TV with Fahrin as co-host special. How cute.

I don't know about you guys but I love watcjing Goshop and its making me wanting to buy every single thing they promoted. Salute to host especially Syakirin Husnal. I love her.

If I have huge amount of money I so want to buy lots and lots of Goshop item especially Kissen blender,  Shogun granite pan, Mind fan, this intex mattress, multicooker and so much more. Seeee how 'good' they influence me.

Did you guys love to watch goshop too???

Sunday, 31 March 2019



Happy monday to everyone. Those who 'suffer' monday Blues , good luck facing it 😂. Those who enjoy monday, have fun.

I remember when I was in school. Knowing that tomorrow is Monday on that Sundag evening, my heart went shatter. Dramatic yeahh. But thats how I describe my monday.

Thinking that there will be school assembly (long one I guarantee ) my mind suffocating. Ok come on, is there actually anyone loves morning monday assembly?Dont lie to me. 😑

And during my era of working ( lol era ), I also dislikes monday thinking that to reach friday still a long way to go. And then on Sunday to Monday is so close to evem think of. I stress over unnecessary stuff, yeppp thats me.

Until the time I get to work in shift time. Thats when I dont remembers day and not scared over monday anymore 😂😂😂

Dramatic and me are unseparable.

Thursday, 14 February 2019

Sang Saka Biru


In this entry I would love to share a song that being stuck in my mind and I played the song every morning while 'battling' to bath my twins know, to enhance spirit.

I tried share the video box directly but failed so here I am sharing the link. Kindly click.

Its a theme movie for Polis Evo 2...I personally not fond much over the movies but this song hooked me big time. Loving it.

Love the way Sona One said 'woi'. 😍


Friday, 8 February 2019

New life and melons ♥

Assalamualaikum ♥

Entering 2019 wity mixed emotion and feeling and yeaaah I wasn't all that focus on 1st jan 2019 since I was hospitalized and in pain. Lol...what a way to start a year.

Happy new year ( although its late )

Often we have several things change in life in each such as last year, I became someone wife and this year, I become a mother. Not one but two... Phewwhh. My twins are safely born alhamdulillah but instead of becoming 2019 babies, they born earlier. So 2018 babies that is.

I called them melons as they already so round and cute and adorable like melons since in the womb. Hahaha.. the other nickname for them is cuttlefishball and crabmeatball... I am strange mother.

My melons born approximately 1.16am on 26th December ...the second melon followed by 15minutes later. So I officially become a mother that night, a day after christmas ( dramatic song echoed )

How was the journey of giving birth?
Let me summarize it as if I am telling in detail, this entry will be too long to read.
The pain is indescribable... But the closer one is feel like your body being cut into two. It was sooooo painful. My water broke 12 hours earlier for first twin hence they had no choice but to induce me 12 hours later when the pain started.

From my bed, I could hear other woman scream as well...various type of scream and it doesn't really make me feel better. Hahahaha... When the doctors came to me and start all the procedures, only Allah knows.

To make it short... The journey ended three hours after that. Losing so much blood and unable to stand up, husband still not arrived ( he was away ) and I was all alone, feeling numb, pain and hungry...thirsty to the maximum limit. Luckily nurse gave me chocolate drink. I drfited sleep inside labour room.

An hour later, my husband came and apologized. It wasnt his fault, the festive season makes all bus ticket sold out. He tried his best though. .

I am still in pain and they tranferred me to postnatal ward. When my husband ask me what I want...I only think of milo drink. My throat dried and all I felt was super thirsty as if all liquid inside my body gone. He ran to get me some....

Bubibubi melons♥

I only meet my baby three days later. They have been warded at Nicu ( 2nd baby for further checkup due to crying late as soon as being pulled from my tummy ) and SCN (to check for glucose as I am diabetic mother )...while in postnatal, I was having blood tranfusion too because my hb dropped drastically to 6.6....

It was one experience which I won't forget easily...
Will write more later okay. Someone is crying now. Oh goshhhh~

Monday, 10 December 2018

Perks of beauty definition

Salam ♥

What is the definition of being pretty??
I noticed for Malaysian ( especially malays ) they indicates beauty as having fair skin, skinny body, perfect skin and hair and having celebrity condition.

I beg your pardon!?

Is that the true level of beautiful?
As we all know its a subjective but please don't say that having dark skin, pimples skin, chubby curvy or fat and messy hair or freckles all overthe face~~~is ugly? Come on people, do not stereotype that bad.

Tyra Bank is having darker skin but she is soooooo damn gorgeous. Same goes to Rihanna and many more. Name it!

People around the world are so sucked up to the fake beauty generalization on tv and media until they willing to do anything and so much as long as they can become 'pretty'.

Just like what Dr.Amalina and Dr. Rafidah always said, being pretty doesn't requires you to simply consume this and that suplement, pills and whatever injection as it will burden the kidney and slowly damage your heart and body system as well.

Long term effect, you could suffer and die for damaging yourself absentmindedly. Come on!!

Why would you put yourself in other people shaded. If they say you are pretty, will you become immediate rich!? If they say you are fat and ugly, will you eventually die?

No right?

So please stop doing that for the sake of people eye validation. The first step to become pretty is to love yourself. And next step is accept yourself and the rest will come follows.

Do not judge other girl for being fat, having dark skin or imperfect in many ways. You, yourself are not that perfect either. Human come with flaws and thats what makes human~~~HUMAN.

Spread the love♥

Allah plan is always better

Salam ♥

Today, I was supposed to have my regular blood test checkup for my bsp diabetes ( while pregnancy a.k.a gdm ) and I arrived at the clinic quite early.

Its because last night my husband went to his company party so I slept over at my friend house to chit chat etc and he fetch me early in the morning before drop me to the clinic. It was too early but nevermind, I don't mind waiting.

Sadly and unlucky today ( Tuesday ) wasn't supposed to be a blood test day as the system have change from tue/thur to mon/wed. Hence the nurse apologized and ask if I can change to tomorrow and again, I don't mind and not even feel annoyed or mad. I seriously feel ok with that. Alhamdulillah.

Then , since I already fast and forbid myself from eat and drink since 10pm previous night, I was so hungry so I decided to go for breakfast in front clinic (lorry stall ) as their breakfast is sooooo yummy and I love it. Somehow I don't really have much money left in my wallet but put aside, I can used final emergency money Rm10 which I slit behind my phone case and just eat.

Oh for those who wondering where is my husband, he went back home and sleep so I drove alone. Haha.. nevermind. Plus he looked so tired.

Back to the breakfast story. Since all tables are occupy, I encourage myself to ask one couple to join them at their table as they have two empty spot left. They invited me to sit with them and we start chit chatting while eating.

Fast forward, so the husband is a general manager for a vendor company that handle MAS Cargo airlines and I told him that I am also have safety officer background (way of promoting myself to the stranger 😂)...and to my next surprise is he impress with my what I have and he interested in offering a job to me ( at least to try insyaAllah ) after I give birth and finish my confinement if I'm still interested in finding job.

I was so overwhelmed for having this chances because its quite tough to find a job and I tried so haed yet none seems to come my way. He said he have two empty spot and he can save one for me because its a backup staff spot. No matter what, I already feel so much grateful I don't know how to express it.

His wife also encourage me to try and they both really kind to me. 😢😢

Lastly, they even pay for my food and bid goodbye after gave me business card just in case for contact purpose. I was so touched.

Allah helped me.
What did I do to deserve this 😢
Its not yet a job but an opportunity for job is already consider as huge enough for me.
Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah.

I don't know what kind of plan He write for me as I still have the part in me wanted to just do 'job at home' so I can watch over my babies but nevertheless, only Allah knows whats best for me.

I will ask Allah ♥

So guys, do pray for me in this matter as well as birthing part. Counting days and clock keep on ticking. Hope I can deliver my twins safely.

Alhamdulillah for everything ya Allah.

Sunday, 9 December 2018

My V1 family, my ambition

Salam ♥

As the day goes by, one by one my friend slowly entering the actual right track on becoming pilot.

I have a group ( we call it V1 clan/gang ) and we have like 7 members in that group including me but I was the only roses among torn. hahhaa.. awww 😘

Actually its more like I'm the mother of 6 naughty son. 😂

  • We used to be ( all of us ) lost in a space of chasing our dream but alhamdulillah after many years ( indeed many years I tell you ) , when the journey and unexplainable tiredness has taking its toll, slowly one by one are stepping into flying school. Glorious, alhamdulillah for them.

Yep, currently 3 over 7 are running towards it while the rest are cheering using pompom to them and still strugling for our place as well. Of course we will find our way too.. current cost is too expensive I doubt my kidney would cover all expenses 😂

As for me, I kinda have to laid back and slow down a bit as I'm in my final trimester of pregnancy but fear not, the fire in me still the same. Thanks to the boys. Each time one of us felt down, we encourage and get stronger again. It will be an absolute lie to say all of us are in positive and fiery ambition all the time. Sometimes, negative cold of winter almost put the fire in us down. Yep, thats human.

sexy vehicles

How did we know each other?... To be honest we came from different background, place and our age is different except me with Hafiz darat and Remy.  Faris is the youngest brother. Anuar and Hafiz laut is a bit younger than me. Dont ask my age 😂 you know woman hates two question ( age and weight.. lol )

credits : google for indiGo cadet pics

We came from background of airport authorities, ex airlines, fresh graduate and of course oil and gas. We've known each other by mutual etc. Like some for taking cadetship exam last 2012 for Airasia and some from Flylah forum ( I am Mir Mira, hello 🙌🙌🙌 ) to make it short, we all end up being friends a.k.a families by Allah plan. Some already married and some still singles. And why am I mentioning that 😅


Our goals are the same. To become a pilot. It was an ultimate goal and what set us bond to each other. We might not come from rich family or stable background hence our struggle is different. I know everyone have their own struggles.

The sky has no limits.

All the talk only based on aircraft and sky 😂😂😂

Alhamdulillah finally three of us almost make it through and true.  Faris and Aziz with Malaysia Airlines cadet, Anuar with private course at Sabah... it wasn't easy for them and its taking so much energy in them too... There is a time when I see them almost giving up but naaaah, how can they give up. The rest four of us wont allow that while we're also still fighting for the spot, the three of them never stop cheering. we have each other back and I know its Allah gift to have such companion.

congrats young one 👏

 A few month ago, when I received an email from unknown young man talking about his struggles to become a pilot until he ask if he should stop or not, I'd say, ask yourself if you want it badly enough.

We never know what Allah plan for us. Some have it easy some have it hard. Some earn it fast and some earn it a bit late but as long as the clock still ticking. Do not give up!

While doing whatever stuff you're doing now, keep in mind and heart that you are still running toward your dream. Even its late and seems so unsure, but your effort is clear and real .Keep it up!!!


Oh before I end this, for those who wonder what is V1,

Wish me luck.
Pray for me and the rest V1 and all aspiring pilot. ♥ We need loves 🙌

Monday, 6 August 2018

My 'everything' first time to Korea

Hello ladies and gentleman..

A very very good evening to all of you and assalamualaikum to those who are muslims.
How was your day today anyway?

While waiting for isya pray time, I lay down lazily like a polar bear on my bed and my mind reminisce Korea moment.

So much of my memory preoccupied on memory from my multiple Korea trip experience.

How i really missed korea.... Huuu

Husband pose so handsomely beneath windy chill sun

My latest trip is my honeymoon trip. It was quite different from other trip because going to a places with husband is not as havoc as the one with crazy headed bunch of friends.

Simply because honeymoon itself plays a different role in portraying vibe of the trip but for all that matter, both of us love the food so much and the scenic environment too.

Gazing toward the sky~ 

It was my husband first ever long haul trip and his first time also stepping his foot onto Kimchi land. How sweet.

There is a few hassle moment when his shoes protest ( lol ) so we had no choice but to go to Dongdaemun shoes area to buy him a pair of new shoes. Comfy yet affordable and he loves it.

Can he really contain his excitement 😂

The shoes are undeniably comfortable yet so stylish. He loves it so much....really loves it I guess. 

Perhaps whats make it more fun is he enjoyed the food as much as I did. Since we visited Seoul around March so its still end of winter. Hence, winter fruits are everywhere. 

One of my ultimate is of course Korea strawberry....heyyyy it was fantastically sweet and delicious. Unlike the one I taste in my country. Perhaps the weather and soil is good for sweet strawberry growth.

And  there is also one newly food I tried which I never tried during my previous trips. Its none other than fried tteok... I got to taste it at Tongin Market. And it was hella delicious even my husband loves it ( he did not like the taste of normal tteokbukki tho )

If I ever going back to Korea next time, we will definitely munch this food again whiwe joining dosirak cafe activities ( old coin exchange food activity ). Period! 

Yums...we took spicy and soy sauce coated.
Both super yums.

Look at that....!!!!!

Although we our trip was for seven days but we only felt super cold weather on the first three days and mostly because of chilly wind. The rest of the trip still cold but with sun so its just so-so.

How we wish the snow still falling. Heheh

So this is all for now.
Going to write more later.
Seee ya!